A Real Post

6.29.2012



Instead of my usual Fancy That Friday post, I wanted to share a bit of my life lately. I know it's considered "blogging taboo" to talk about anything sad or negative, which I totally understand. People don't usually care to hear about others' problems when we're already dealing with so much of our own. I try my best to keep my blog upbeat and light-hearted, but hey, this is also a life blog and nothing was more life-altering than what happened to my family and I last summer.

It all happened so fast. One day I didn't have a care in the world, just enjoying my time off from school. Then the next day I'm suddenly being called to rush to the hospital because something had happened to my cousin, Robbie. A week or so later he passed away due to physical complications, and our lives were forever changed. I had never lost anyone I loved before, even all my grandparents are still alive. Robbie was the most fun-loving, kind, and generous person who could make anyone laugh and feel welcome, so to have someone like him taken away from our lives was a shock to everyone.

Anyway, it's been an entire year since it all happened and a tough year at that. Watching those I care about  suffer over Robbie's passing is the most heart-wrenching thing I've ever experienced. It's a feeling of wanting to do anything possible to make them feel better but knowing nothing would suffice. To commemorate Robbie, the family all got together at the church where we held his funeral and released personalized balloons up into the sky. It was a thoughtful moment between all of us.

I'm not sure where we go from here, or if my family's heartbreak will ever subside. Even I still don't know how to deal with it all, so I kind of just push it aside and focus on other things like school and work. That's not to say I don't think about it every now and again and have a personal moment to myself (a.k.a. cry-fest in my car), but for the most part, I choose not to let my emotions show in that sense. Probably not the best route to take, but I'm new at this, so it's the best I got. I won't be discussing this anymore on the blog after today, I just wanted one post where I can vent about it all and well... just be real.

xx

24 comments

  1. I like blogs even more when the blogger gets personal. Thanks for sharing this! It is so hard to lose a loved one, especially suddenly. Two of my grandparents both died in 2005, and there are still times when something will remind me of one of them, and I just can't help but cry. I'm not really emotional in front of a lot of people, but it helps just to share, and I'm grateful you did. I hope you are encouraged by memories with Robbie and by family and friends, even at this difficult time for you <3

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. It's been almost five years since my cousin suddenly passed away. He would have turned 20 on Wednesday. It's crazy how life can be over in a split second. Thanks for sharing this with us :)

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  3. Thanks for sharing, it's so important to remember and express love for those who are no longer with us. Hang in there.
    --TS

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  4. Thanks for the post. It's very inspirational and wonderful!
    -hugs-

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  5. Thanks for sharing this with us! It´s so sad and at the same time so touching to hear how you deal with it. I wish you the strength to keep up the memories in the future.
    xx Katja

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  6. There are no rules to grief--all you can do is do what works for you in order to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Thank you for being willing to share, my prayers are with you. xoxo

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  7. I'm so sorry hear to about that. I have lost a best friend and a niece in the past year. It's been brutal. This post may help. You're in my prayers. Sending all my love.

    http://sierraainge.blogspot.com/2011/12/explanation-of-past-few-months.html
    xo,
    Sierra

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  8. im sorry to hear about your loss doll.. even if it has been a year, people take different amounts of time to grieve, so take your time. Youre not made of stone, every now and then, we need to break down. Let it out as much as you can, even if it is through blog posts.. because keeping isnt going to help your heart heal. keep praying and just remember what a great and happy kid he is and that he's in better hands now. And im sure he's looking down on you and doesnt want you to be hurting. My prayers go out to you and your family. feel free to email me if you need anyone to talk to or vent.. my personal email.. norma.tovar8@gmail.com god bless babe..

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  9. Beautiful words, than You for those :*

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  10. I'm so sorry about your loss, I lost my Granddad last year and I know how painful it can be, I still cry about it, the randomest things can set me off. Time may not make it easier, but remember to be strong and remember everything you loved about him. I'm sending massive virtual hugs, the one year mark is definitely one of the hardest!
    xox

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  11. Thank you for sharing and posts like these give you more in depth look inside a blogger and to understand them. I think this post was great and if you happened to post about it again I would read it. If you want to write about it again in the near future I think you should, because it's your blog and two I KNOW you will inspire someone with your story or even help them with something they're going through that is similar. :D

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  12. Death & loosing someone you love is a who,erange of emotion. It takes you in a crazy journey & there is a piece of your heart that will never heal. Sorry for your kiss.

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  13. I'm very sorry for your loss... :(
    and I think that you should write even about hese kinds of things, 'cause life is not just fun, glitter and fashion... this is also a partof our lives... I personally would never mind reading these kinds of posts. It just shows that everyone has his own problem, and maybe we could help each other via blog posts and comments... again, i'm sorry for your loss...

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  14. There's nothing wrong with pouring your heart out on your blog, even if it's negative. And I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about pushing it to the side and focus and keep busy with other things. I was only 16 when my father passed away, and I did the exact same thing. I just didn't know how to deal. It probably isn't the healthiest route, I've never been a super 'open' person, especially when it comes to my feelings. But I think I turned out okay. I would like to tell you that dealing with a loss gets easier over time, and in a way it sort of does, but it never goes away. You still miss them like hell. And as time goes on it just gets more frustrating because you'll find yourself not being able to imagine their voice, the details of their face, etc etc. Just hang in there girl. Try to keep your chin up.


    xo,
    jessie

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  15. Thank you for sharing this, I really appreciate when other bloggers share personal bits of their life. It's so difficult to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when it's so unexpected like this was. I hope you and your family are doing well! It will get easier, and you will always hold your cousin's memory in a special place.
    xJennaD

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  16. So sorry for your loss, I too lost someone very close to me this year. Only 3 short months ago, and I'm still trying to figure it all out, I still get sort of lost in sadness sometimes. Death is so final, so permanent, and very hard to comprehend I think. I've been having all of it spinning in my head ever since. I've written about it a bit on my blog as well, it does feel good to get my thoughts out into words. Do it as much as you like, I think people appreciate the honesty. I appreciate your story because it reminds me, that I'm not the only one who has all of these things spinning around in my head and my heart.

    Sending you lots of hugs!
    xo Kayla

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  17. life is so so fragile, i know you all learned that that day. thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with us, because that is a good thing--to share to be vulnerable.

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