Instead of my usual Fancy That Friday post, I wanted to share a bit of my life lately. I know it’s considered “blogging taboo” to talk about anything sad or negative, which I totally understand. People don’t usually care to hear about others‘ problems when we’re already dealing with so much of our own. I try my best to keep my blog upbeat and light-hearted, but hey, this is also a life blog and nothing was more life-altering than what happened to my family and I last summer.
It all happened so fast. One day I didn’t have a care in the world, just enjoying my time off from school. Then the next day I’m suddenly being called to rush to the hospital because something had happened to my cousin, Robbie. A week or so later he passed away due to physical complications, and our lives were forever changed. I had never lost anyone I loved before, even all my grandparents are still alive. Robbie was the most fun-loving, kind, and generous person who could make anyone laugh and feel welcome, so to have someone like him taken away from our lives was a shock to everyone.
Anyway, it’s been an entire year since it all happened and a tough year at that. Watching those I care about suffer over Robbie’s passing is the most heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s a feeling of wanting to do anything possible to make them feel better but knowing nothing would suffice. To commemorate Robbie, the family all got together at the church where we held his funeral and released personalized balloons up into the sky. It was a thoughtful moment between all of us.
I’m not sure where we go from here, or if my family’s heartbreak will ever subside. Even I still don’t know how to deal with it all, so I kind of just push it aside and focus on other things like school and work. That’s not to say I don’t think about it every now and again and have a personal moment to myself (a.k.a. cry-fest in my car), but for the most part, I choose not to let my emotions show in that sense. Probably not the best route to take, but I’m new at this, so it’s the best I got. I won’t be discussing this anymore on the blog after today, I just wanted one post where I can vent about it all and well… just be real.